Monday, April 22, 2013

My simple little world.

I've thought a lot about this blogging thing and how it's all about my family and day to day life.  I sometimes wonder if I should keep update on current events, so years down the road if my kids or grand kids read something I wrote like, "After all the horrible stuff that happened in Connecticut right before Christmas..." or "All these unbelievable events that have happened in Boston this past week, I've been feeling so scared/sad/overwhelmed/devastated..."  But then I think, if I kept up on current events, I wouldn't have time to talk about anything else.  And, I would get depressed keeping up on all of it.  When it comes to my knowledge on politics, the government, current events, the wars we're fighting, I feel like I 'know enough'.  I don't want to be uneducated, but I wouldn't do well if I spent much more time than I currently do keeping up on it all.

I had a whole post all ready to publish about election day this past November.  My thoughts on Romney, and how I was generally impressed with him.  My thoughts on Obama, and my complaints about him from the left.  But I never posted it because it really doesn't matter.

I had another post all ready to publish after the shooting in Newtown this past December.  How heartbroken I was for those families.  How I imagined that one of those lost was my own.  Like, forcing myself to hurt, would somehow take away some of the hurt of those actually waking up the next day without their child.

I went on with my thoughts and anger about how quickly we saw gun control laws being pushed.  And how there's not much being done about mental illnesses, and how overlooked this problem has always been.

I'm extremely conservative on my views about gun control.  I come from a gun owning family, I married into a gun owning family, and I own a gun myself.  Gun laws will not protect us.  And if there are people in this country that are stupid enough to think that 'guns kill people' is a more accurate statement than 'people kill people', then I should be even more concerned about the fate of our nation than I thought I should be. (And I'm getting there.)

All this to say, I kept up way too much with the events in Boston this past week.  What I was watching and hearing didn't even seem like real life.  This was the event that put me over the edge, in a sense.  It was the first time ever, that I truly hoped that Jesus would come back soon.  I was terrified for my babies and the world they'll grow up in.  It made me really question if I would ever consider bringing more kids into it.

We went out Friday night, after my day of news overload, to a big outdoor mall, just to walk around and have dinner. I kept my kids closer to me than I would normally.  I looked at people differently.  I was kind of scared.  I reminded myself a few times that I don't want to live in fear.  I watched my kids play and laugh.  I really haven't been able to get enough of them these past few days.  And I couldn't stop thinking about how innocent they are, how safe they feel, and how they have no idea what scary things are going on all around us.  And I couldn't help think about how badly I want to protect them from it all.  How I would do anything to keep them safe.

People were posting this Mr. Rogers quote all over IG and FB last week.
It's simple and helpful.  I read it several times throughout the day on Friday and reminded myself that there are good people everywhere, they're just usually not as loud and noticeable as the bad ones.  I'm kind of glad my kids aren't old enough yet to have to explain anything like this to them.  But on the flip side, I can't help but wonder what I'll be explaining when they are old enough.  But until then, I'm going to try and just let my kids' smiles, excitement about life, and positive energy, get me through the heartbreaking days.

These next few are from our Friday night family date.  The kids started giving us 'noodle kisses'.

There was loud happy music in the food court.  The kids couldn't help but stand on their seats and dance.  Notice Addie watching Garrett and copying his moves.

 I posted this collage of Addie on IG tonight and mentioned that Paul was telling me about the bombing attempt on the train from Canada to NYC that almost happened today.  As he was telling me about it, Addie was doing this.  Making loud fake burp sounds to go along with her funny faces.  I decided to pay more attention to her, because it made me smile.
 And while Paul was talking, and Addie was fake burping, Garrett was standing on his seat pretending like he was falling.  "Woah...woah...woah..." he'd say, as he 'almost' fell.  Then he'd lunge toward me, and grab my arm with both hands, and announce, "Safe!"  ..."Woah, woah, woah...SAFE!"
I hope I'm always strong enough to make my kids feel safe.

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