How are you feeling? This is the most common question of all. And I'd say 99% of the time I tilt my head a little to the side, half nod yes, and say, "good" with a little enthusiasm. I don't feel like saying, "I could sleep all day, I've felt nauseous every night right before bed for 27 weeks straight, and I still throw up on average about once a week." That's how I really feel, but the head tilt/half nod/'good' works better these days. (And who really cares anyway, right?)
How's your depression? The doctor asked me for a little update on this today. They've been really good at keeping up on that, which I appreciate. My nutshell answer was, I feel so much better and generally happier now than I did 6 months ago. But deep down I'm terrified of a major crash postpartum. I won't go as long as I did after Garrett this time if I start feeling the same again. We discussed some things my councillor is helping me with and also some nursing-safe antidepressants. I reiterated again at the end that I don't want to 'plan' on starting medication, I just want to be prepared if I really believe it becomes a need.
Are you getting an epidural? Umm...maybe. I don't feel as strongly as I did last time about doing it naturally. And its likely because labor was the longest and most profoundly painful experience I've ever had in my life. So naturally, I have a lot of fear associated with the whole process. I'm feeling much more 'go with the flow' this time around. Maybe that's the wrong attitude to have, but its the one I have for now. If I was to repeat the exact same birth experience with 2.0 that I had with Garrett, the answer would be, "YES!" and about 45 hours sooner than last time too. But we'll see.
How has this pregnancy been different from the last? I think I answered this before but it gets asked often, (especially when people hear how young Garrett is). New things I've thought of are:
-I felt like I bought new clothes and new bras every month last time. This time? One pair of capris, one shirt, and no new bras. And my mom bought me a dress for my brother's wedding.
-I've never felt like it was lasting forever. I have 2 cousins who are both on their first pregnancies, one due in Jan. and one in Feb. I saw them last time I was in Utah and they're both ready to be done! I told them I wish time would slow down a little and she can stay inside me as long as she wants. Time is flying by this time around.
-I'm staying more active. I think last time I nearly gave up on the exercise by this point because I was so tired all the time. This time around, I'm busier following a baby all day and I ride a bike or walk 4-5 days a week. I decided when I found out I was pregnant that I didn't want to gain a lot of weight again. 10 lbs sounded good. I'm almost 33 weeks and I've gained 8 pounds total. (If I only gain 2 more in the next 7 weeks I'll brag about it on my blog, if I gain more than 2, I won't mention it. :)) Sidenote: I'm not starving myself or doing anything unhealthy to try and keep it at 10 lbs. I'm being more healthy and active and still eating all the baby and I need. Funny how that works.
Are you ready? The list making, de-junking, organizing, cleaning, nesting side of me would say no. I've crossed 12 things off my 'To do before Nov. 1st' list, but there's still 15 more things on the list. However, I guess I could also say yes. If I had her in my arms today she wouldn't go hungry, cold, diaperless, or naked. There's no crib, no lighting, and no door in the nursery yet, but she probably won't be in there for a couple months anyway. All of this stuff will be taken care of in the next couple weeks. So while I don't feel 'ready', there's probably not much else I can to do get to that point, but I'm glad I still have 7 weeks to try.
How do you think Garrett will do with a baby around? I ask myself this question several times a day. Sometimes I think he's at the perfect age to just be chill and fine with whatever, other days I think he's at the age that he'll freak out, hate me, hate her, and try to beat her with a Tonka truck when I'm not looking. The super mom in me (that isn't real) has thought of fun things for just he and I to do during the day when she naps. But lets be real about it, if she's napping I hope Garrett and I are napping too.