Friday, September 7, 2012

Let me brag about my husband for a minute...

This is all about Paul during the week of my Grandma's death and funeral.

When I got to the hospital and saw my Grandpa, the first thing he said was, "Where's Paul?"  I said, "At my parents' with the kids."

Grandpa: Is he coming?
Me: I don't know.  I wasn't sure how many people you'd want here.
Grandpa: I'd like to talk to Paul.
Me: Should I call him?
Grandpa: Yes, I'd really like him to be here.

Paul is still a licensed funeral director in Utah and several years ago he made pre-arrangements with my grandparents.  He has a great relationship with 2 funeral homes in Utah, so we were sure he'd be able to be the director at the funeral.

Paul and the kids came right up.  My Grandpa was so relieved to see Paul.  It was really surprising and cool to see how relaxed my Grandpa was with Paul there.  Paul got there around 10:30AM and at about 11:30PM we felt like we needed to get home.  I told the nurse that my husband is a funeral director and that my Grandpa really wants him there as soon as it looks like it's time.  I told her we were leaving and she took both of our cell numbers and my parents home number and said she'd call as soon as things changed so Paul could head back.  I went over to my Grandpa and said, "Ok, Grandpa, I think we're going to go, but we'll be back as soon as you need us."  He looked at Paul and said, "Are you going too?"  I started to say, "Yes, but the nurse has his number....."  Paul cut me off and said, "Grandpa, do you want me here?"  Grandpa didn't say anything.  Paul again said, "Grandpa, it's ok if you want me to stay."  Grandpa got a little emotional, and said, "Yes, I'd really like you to stay."  Paul said, "No problem Grandpa, I'll stay."  Grandpa thanked him and hugged him.  I left to go get my kids and Paul slept on the waiting room floor all by himself.  The nurse came and woke him at 6:40AM and said Grandma's breathing was changing.  By the time Paul got to the room, she'd just taken her last breathe and Grandpa hugged him and said, "She's gone."  I think it was really neat that Grandpa got to be alone with Grandma at the end.  And I think it was perfect that Paul walked in seconds later to comfort my Grandpa.

From that point on, Paul spent everyday with my Grandpa leading up to the funeral.  He went with Grandpa to meet with the owner of the funeral home. He went to the cemetery twice to check the plot and schedule the burial time.  Took him to the funeral home to dress Grandma.  Had meals together...  Paul designed the program.  Submitted the obituary.  And even helped my Grandpa trade a couple cemetery plots for ones in a different part of the cemetery that he liked better.  At one point, while Paul was on the phone with the news paper, Grandpa got emotional and said to me, "You have no idea the mental turmoil that Paul is saving me from."

I was really proud of my husband.  I didn't see him much that week, but it was worth it, and it made me really happy to know my Grandpa (and Grandma) were very well taken care of.

My Grandpa talked about Paul a lot to family and friends, and I even had one cousin come up to me and say, "Wow.  It's not often that a Grandson-IN-LAW becomes the favorite grandson."


Also, a big 'Thank You' to some of our best friends, Jordon and Kate.  When they heard what was going on they headed to the hospital to pick up Addie and they bought us all lunch.  A few hours later, they came back to drop Addie off, but instead brought us all dinner, kept Addie, AND took Garrett, too.  I picked them up at about mid-night.  The next morning they came back and took both kids while we worked on funeral plans.  Then they came and took the kids the night of the viewing, so I could visit with people.  And, they attended the funeral, just to be there for us.  But of course, because Paul was working the service and I was sitting in the front, they took care of the kids there, and at the cemetery, too.  It would have been stressful, and nearly impossible to get through the week without them.

I try to post pictures tomorrow, and then I'll finally move on from this sad topic.


ErinandShane said...

This is a lovely post. I love to hear that there are still happily married people and good men in the world! They seem to be harder and harder to find.

Heidi Rogers said...

Paul is definitely an amazing guy. And your remarks from the last post at your grandmother's funeral were beautiful. What a tough week and time ahead.

Jes said...

Paul is a great man. You're very lucky. And let's not forget he's very lucky also. (: