Project 365: Week 22

May 25

Paul took me to a Dinosaur museum in St. George. I started loving dinos lately and wish they were still alive. So cool!
May 26
The sunset the day my uncle died. Sunsets seem more heaveny when you see them after losing a loved one.
May 27
Funeral detail day. I went to my uncles house to get his clothes he'll be buried in. My brother Dave saw this hat and told me to take it. My uncle was also a Seahawks fan, I think he woulda wanted me to have it.
May 28
I did my bridals today. It was fun and Kylee is awesome. It's funny how the death of my uncle has made the wedding details seem less necessary. I just want to be married, and if a couple things don't get done, they just won't get done. No big deal, not important.
May 29
We flew to California for a wedding. This is Me, Bethany and Robyn at our friend Kim's wedding. (My one picture of the bride didn't turn out.) Our plan was to drive to CA friday and be there for the 6:00 wedding then drive home all day sunday, (or cancel all together) but when Paul's dad heard the news of my uncle, he bought us plane tickets so we could relax a little and not have such an exhausting weekend of driving. He's wonderful.
May 30
We worked on the yard today. We're having a family and close friends BBQ after our reception in 3 weeks and today was spent mostly outside planting. It was so fun and the yard is looking amazing. My future in-laws are working so hard!
May 31
This is a fence i build...ok, I take credit for it. Phil (Paul's dad) did the building part, but I was there every step of the way to figure measurements and numbers and hold the light stuff. It was actually kinda fun. A nice, relaxing, much needed break.

Uncle Randy

I think I spent longer trying to title this post than I'll spend writing it...but what do you call a post that's about the passing of a loved one...or do you just not blog about it...

I'm sorry if this is a downer, I just needed a release and I guess this is my attempt at coping.

My uncle died yesterday morning.

Life seems to stop while you ask all the unanswerable questions. Then you move on to the events of the morning and try to figure out how it all happened. Then you go back to the questions. Then you plan and discuss everything from the funeral services to the house to the bills/cell phone/credit cards to the car and the truck...none of which really matters but has to be figured out at some point. More tears are produced than you thought possible, and just when you think you're ok something triggers more tears. And everyone just keeps thinking of more things that we need to work out.

All afternoon yesterday was spent talking about funeral service plans with Paul, who is handling the service with the mortuary he works for. He's so incredible, and I can't imagine figuring all the little details out with anyone else.

My uncle was single. The youngest of 3. Both his parents have passed, he has an older married sister (my aunt) with no kids, then my dad and mom and me and my 3 brothers. The Greenhalgh side is very small.

I spent 9 hours today with my dad getting everything scheduled, plot picked, times and locations booked, obituary written, finding pictures, practicing the song I'll be singing at the service...on and on...

It's strange how many things you can think of and wonder about when life is put on hold and you have to spend a couple days doing something you didn't want to do for many, many more years. It stops mattering for a few days that I really need to get my hair done, bridal pictures are postponed, my to-do list of wedding stuff that gets looked at 20+ times a day has been in my purse unopened for 2 days...

My uncle was a wonderful man. I think about the last conversation we had and try to remember every detail of it. The last I saw him was a couple weeks ago. I had a thought to call him and see if we could go to dinner. First and last time in my life that he and I ever had a uncle/niece dinner date and I'll never forget it. Red Robin in Layton. He had a chili burger with fries and water. I had a chicken sandwich with fries and water. He told me he was going to buy a new suit for my wedding. He joked about showing up in a rental car, just to throw me off...it's not funny to anyone but us, but we had a good laugh about it. When I insisted on paying because it was my idea, we decided it was a good deal because now he owed me dinner and we could start doing this more often.

He left us a note. Very short. Very simple. He said "Don't be angry or sad." The 2 emotions that seen to hit you the most in the beginning when you get the shocking phone call. I'm not angry anymore, but I'm sad. I went to his house today to get the clothes he left out on his bed and requested in the note to be buried in. My wedding invitation was opened and sitting on his counter. Things were left around, but very little to help put any closure to all of this, but maybe that's ok.

You tell yourself over and over that there's nothing you could have done differently, but in the same moment asking, how could I have changed things? Did he know that last time we were together and I should have picked up on something, but didn't? What must it all be like...numb to reality, emotional, painful, lonely...? Scary? Peaceful?

... ... ...

I love you Uncle Randy. This year when winter rolls around I think I'm gonna fall out a door onto a balcony full of snow, just for you. If a lotion person from Israel tries to stop me in the mall, I'll push their booth over. I'll cheer extra hard this year for our Seahawks. I'll try not to make fun of old people. And maybe I'll rent a car for your funeral. Thanks for being an amazing uncle to me for the past 29 years, it's sure been great being your favorite niece. I'll cherish every moment we had together. I hope heaven in fun and full of cowboy stuff, rodeos, horses, coconut cream pie, and people you love. I'll see you on the other side.

Project 365: Week 21

May 18

Season Finale of 24!! Amazing. Really Tony? Really?
May 19
Sara did some practice curls in my hair tonight for the wedding, this is my attempt at a self portrait. I think I'm wearing it down. Oh, and see all those envelopes on the tables? Most of the invites, ready to send.
May 20
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!!!
May 21
My parents have this bush is their front yard and these flowers seem to bloom over night and then fall off and die within a day. It's sad because they are so beautiful! It's like those one flowers that only bloom like once a year for one night...or once a lifetime, or something. And it only lasts for like 5 seconds, or an hour maybe. It's in that one movie...I think the movie is 'Purple State of Mind'...remember? Anyway, it's like that but way less dramatic.
May 22
I decided I really need a pedi. And my mom deserved a break so I took her too. One of the best things ever, and look how cute our toesies are!
May 23
The mortuary Paul works for has a facility in St. George. The needed someone to be on call for Southern Utah for the holiday weekend because one of his bosses who lives is St. G had surgury in SLC. They asked Paul to do it and because it's over a long weekend (and because he can't live without me!) they said he could bring me. So here we are, just getting back from laying by the pool and dinner, staying in his bosses amazing empty house, no work to do, having a great, sunny, free vacation!May 24
I actually have a couple cute pictures of me and Paul from today, but this one still wins. That's a polygamist. I know they exist, but it still trips me out. We passed this suburban in the parking lot and saw wife #1 in the front seat, then they parked by us and wife #2 (seen here) got out of the back, let 2 boys climb out, then climbed back in. Dad and 2 boys went in to Jack In The Box and moms stayed in the car. Then we saw another one later at another store. How do they get those braids like that, and more importantly than that, why do they like them? Oh, and why those big full heavy long sleeve dresses in 95 degree weather? Oh, and why polygamy? It's so bizzare to me. (Don't judge me for taking this picture.)

Project 365: Week 20

May 11

Invitation Day!...Well, the start of it. The invites are in the envelopes. This is the least fun part...
May 12
Paul and I road tripped it to Evanston WY tonight...just for fun...then we drove back home. This is where we were Welcomed back into Utah.
May 13
This picture didn't turn out. It was late at night and I had one of those moments where you don't realize how much stuff is around you that you never notice. This tree is in my parents neighbors yard, right by my parents driveway. I realized it tonight because I was driving up the street and trying to see what cars were parked in the driveway. This tree is HUGE and blocks everything. Never really noticed it.
May 14
Paul bought these for me because I love hearing about Brad and Jen. And right now I can't get enough of the Gosselin gossip. By the way, did you know that Jon and Kate will be celebrating their 10 year anniversary on June 12th?!?! That's when I'm getting married!
May 15
My mom and I went to a craft night tonight at my old friend Mandi's house. This is some of the cute stuff we made.
May 16
Dave had a birthday party for Neally tonight. It was really fun. We had a BBQ, played games and had cake. This is Neally and their friends little boy, he wanted cake!
May 17
We had a May birthday celebration tonight. Scott, Laura, Neally, Taylor and Mom. No more til Paul's on November.

Asian Halfsies

Occasionally I get too involved in a TV show. And it's always reality tv, with the exception of 24. (Which I've gotten so involved in that it seems like reality to me.) I talk about Tony and Jack like we're all lifelong friends and Jack and I are having a hard time dealing with the fact that Tony betrayed us, and what am I going to do if Jack dies?? Let's just hope it all gets resolved in the 2 hour finale on Monday and then we can all go on with our quiet lives. (And by 'go on with our quiet lives' I mean, see if Jillian finally finds love on The Bachellorette.)

Anyway, this post is not about that. It's about Americas favorite little family, The Gosselins.
I didn't get into this show until last season but I've seen enough reruns on TLC to be up to date. If you're at all familiar with Jon and Kate you've probably seen the tabloids about his alledged affair. So sad. I've watched several interviews with Kate and although she stays strong and stands by her man and family, she seems heart broken. I don't know if its true, but I've seen the pictures and whether it was an affair or not, Jon had some explaining to do. I'm saddest for the 8 little kiddos. The twins are old enough to get it and I'd imagine the 6 little ones can tell something is up with the family as well. I guess when you make your life public for a living it just comes with the job, but so sad.

Look at these little cuties! I've wondered why 'Jon and Kate Plus Eight' has been so popular and no one seems to care about '18 Kids and Counting' or 'Table for 12' and I think we're all hoping TLC isn't stupid enough to give the Octa-mom a show. I've decided it's because those half Asian babies are so dang adorable! You can't watch this show and not be happy at some little cute thing that the kids say or do. Paul and I were talking about it last night on a drive and I told him I really want an Asian Halfsie. He told me he'd see what we can do. He thinks he can probably make it happen if he eats a lot of Chinese food and tapes his eyes back when I'm ovulating. Too much info?? Sorry.

Anyway, I hope this all passes (I know it will) but I hope it all gets better and the family makes it through together.

Project 365: Week 19

May 4

I bought this shirt for Paul a year ago in Hawaii. I didn't give it to him for several months because I didn't want to admit that I was starting to fall in love with him...May 5
Cinco De Mayo! I had to work a long day in Logan today and Paul cooked me this cute little Mexican goodness when I got to the apartment. He's so cute.May 6
Mom and I go on a scrapbooking retreat every year at Wolf Creek in Eden. This year we went on Taylor's birthday. He's taking a class in Logan for 2 weeks so we invited him to the condo for dinner and cake.May 7
Still scrapbooking!!! We lock ourselves up for about 3 days...sometimes we don't even shower! It's all about scraping!May 8
This year we let the boys come up on Friday night for dinner and games. It was fun, but we decided it'll go back to a GIRLS ONLY event from now on.May 9
I had a bad night. My daddy took me to dinner... Tomorrow's a new day...May 10
Happy Mother's Day! This was the little treat I made for the moms in my life. A box with a cupcake in it and the little tag said, "Being a mom is no "Piece Of Cake" Happy Mother's Day!" The family came over, I cooked dinner, and we played games. I have a wonderful mom. Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there.

Project 365: Week 18

April 27

I get so cold and it takes me forever to warm up. I found this old coat in my parents closet and have been wearing it for 2 days. Not flattering, but warm.April 28
We went to our friends Chris and Traci's for dinner tonight. It was so fun! I'm mad that I forgot to take a picture, this is the building they live in...as I remembered to pull out my camera...driving away.April 29
Grandpa and Grandma took me, Paul, Mom and Dad to dinner as a 'Thank You' for the 90th birthday party. It was last month and I still haven't seen them since and had them not mention it and thank me for all the hard work. I'm so glad they loved it.April 30
I love Tai Pan Trading Co. This is my latest unique find. I could wander in there for hours and I almost always find something I need...usually it's something I didn't know I needed.May 1
I got my dress from alterations today! This was a full shot but I had to crop it in case Paul reads this post. I'm so happy I have it!May 2
Anne and Elen had a shower for me today. Thanks ladies!!! It was great! This is Elen, Anne, me, and Sephra practicing our 'look good in pictures' poses that I read about in a Bride magazine...we'll keep working on it.May 3
My fiance is amazing. Brake light, wind shield wiper, wiper fluid...it's the little things...