Wednesday, December 1, 2010

You're Invited!

To my pity party.

Please bring candy, diet coke, and presents.

And don't wear any make-up. I cried all mine off and I don't want anyone to look cuter than me.

It's my party.

Garrett had his 2 month well check yesterday. Everything is great. He had his first round of shots. He cried. But not as much as I cried. He actually did really well. He ate and took a long nap right after. Then later he got mad that his legs hurt, and he made sure I knew about it. But it really wasn't bad. He had a little bit of baby grape Tylenol, some Grandma Greenhalgh TLC, and he slept through the night. Today he's been a little happy bundle of joy.

So why am I having a pity party?

Because one month from now, we're moving. To California. In the winter. With a baby. Away from my family. Out of our cute little white house, with a cute little door knocker that says "White's", that was there when we moved in. Sounds like its meant to be, right?? Well, I guess it's not. (Also, Paul's boss and some coworkers don't know yet, so no facebook posts please.) I always knew this day would come, but its been in the works for so long that I was starting to think it might never happen. We made this decision about 3 weeks ago, but it finally became real yesterday at the doctor. My friend Melanie referred me to her when I was 7 months pregnant and I've had nothing but great experiences with her. She's a family practice doctor so she's also G's doctor. Its so convenient, and she's so great. I referred a pregnant friend of mine, Deb, to her a couple months ago as well. (Deb just called me as I'm typing this to tell me that she had another appointment today at the doc and that she LOVES her.) Yesterday I sat in the exam room in tears because I realized that it was the last time I'd see our doctor, and I felt so jealous of Melanie and Deb that they have her. I have to find a new doctor for me, a pediatrician for Garrett, a therapist for his head, and a Pediatric Urologist to do his surgery in April. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed and sad. I already have all of those things here, and I'm so happy with ALL of them, and I have a mom here who can come to any of them with me when I need her to! Now I have to start all over.

I was talking to my neighbor today who moved to Seattle with her husband and 2 small children a few years ago, (she's back now), but we were just talking about how totally different it is to move with kids. There are so many more things to think about when its not just me, or even just me and Paul.

We both feel good about this decision when it comes to long term goals we have, job security, and me staying home full time. But its really hard right now, (mostly for me)...(probably for my mom and dad too)... When we told my parents, my dad asked me how often we're going to come back to Utah to visit Garrett. They both love him more than you can even imagine, and it breaks my heart to take him from them after such a short time.

Leave and cleave, leave and cleave, leave and cleave...

I say that to myself about a million times a day. Mostly when I start thinking that its doable for Garrett and I to live here and we could just get together with Paul on the weekends!

We have so many great friends here. My brothers and a sister-in-law. Great people at church. Good neighbors. Extended family.

I've moved a lot, but as I told my mom, all those moves were in my crazy, carefree days and I always knew I'd find my way back to Utah. This one feels a lot more 'final destinationy'.

I think I'll make a "Good things about California" list in the next few days, but for now I just want to be sad and feel sorry for myself.

By the way, I like swedish fish. And its Diet COKE, not Pepsi.


Melanie said...

You're allowed to have a pity party. I'm scared that we'll move (even if it's short term) someday. And, it IS harder with kids, especially when you don't have any other siblings helping out with providing any more grandchildren. Don't leave without coming by and seeing the new baby... hopefully he/she will be here soon!

Randi said...

This saddens me deeply. It's not liek we see you guys very often, but just knowing that you are there makes me feel real nice. So we must see you guys before you go. MUST!!! We have to meet your tiny one. Ok? Ok.

maranoelle said...

Girl- you and me BOTH! We should totally get together to watch movies that will make us cry even harder (while eating swedish fish/drinking diet COKE). I was going to create a post very similar to this one in the next few days. You're so funny. See you tonight!!!!!

Heidi said...

I had a feeling this was coming. :( Boo. I think you already know you guys will be missed here.

The Letterman's said...

concentrate on the "adventure" of it all. Plus you'll be even more beloved once you're far away from the folks, vacations and plans will be made to visit just you! or and you could start putting some pressure on your siblings to produce so the pressure is off you ;)!

Sarah Knight said...

Note to self taken. I will have swedish fish (my favorite candy as well) and diet coke waiting for you when you arrive. I know it will be very hard! Trust me I know the feeling. Just don't forget to add me to your good things about California list and that should make things all better! ;) HA! ok..or not. I am praying for you during this transition friend, I knew it would be harder then you were letting on.

Platt Family said...

I was just going to get in touch with you to get together, and now you are leaving! Crap! I am happy for you, if this is the right decision for your family, and even though we don't see each other as much as we used too, it makes me sad just knowing you are not in Utah! We will stay in touch. I will still send your gift and Christmas card to the address I have. I assume you will still be here for the holiday right? Let me know if you need anything!