This morning at 4:15 I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. This is very normal for me these days, but it usually happens way before 4:00. "Normal" for me is more like 12:30, 2:30, 4:30, 6:30 and then again when I get up for the day, 8:00 or so. But last night 4:15 was my first wake up. Then at 5:00 it hit me again, and it's not like a role over, wake up and kind of need to pee feeling. It's like when you're on a road trip and you need to pee but you don't want to tell the driver and so you sit and hold it and count how many exits you pass and you get to about 12 and decide you better stop, and then you see a sign that says "no service stops for 14 miles" and you literally think you're going to explode. That's what 5AM was for me. After that bathroom run I was pretty much awake for the day. I usually don't get much deep sleep after 5am these days and I don't know why. Usually I toss and turn and think and worry. But this morning I just laid there. I found myself thinking about everything in my life that I'm thankful for. Sounds a little corny I know, but I've found that since I've been pregnant my mind just goes in all directions, and I just let it. Here's a few things I thought about:
- My mom. It is such a blessing to have her close. I love talking to her about babies and things she remembers and having her talk me through my fears. Thursday at work I freaked myself out for no good reason. I called my doctors office and the nurse reassured me that I was fine and didn't need to worry about anything. It didn't help so she told me to come in and get checked if I wanted to. My mom and I work about 5 minutes from each other in Murray and my hospital is half way between both our jobs. I called her and she met me at the hospital. I loved having my mom there with me. She'd never had or seen an ultrasound before so it was really neat to have her there and let her see her grandchild. (Everything is great, by the way. We saw and heard the heartbeat and saw the little munchkin squirming around.)
- My job. I've gone from 40 hours to 20 hours now and I was a little worried that my boss would be frustrated with me. He called me into his office on Tuesday and told me he wants me to cushion the schedule enough so that I can come and go as I want to. He also told me that anything I can and want to do from home is fine too and he'll pay me for those hours as well. He said he wants me to be a part of his company as long as I want to be. That was good to hear.
- My husband. I couldn't ask for better support these past few weeks while I've been really sick, and all the time really. I feel secure and taken care of. I get compliments so often about him and that's something I've never really thought much about, but it happens quite often and I'm proud of him. He works so hard and he's so motivated to provide a good life for our family. He's great with people. And successful. And hot. I love him.
- Our baby. That little tiny 2" miracle that has changed our lives. I asked my mom a couple weeks ago how long she thinks I'll keep worrying about this baby. She said, "Probably until the day you die."
- Our family in Utah and California. I got an email a couple days ago from my sweet sister-in-law, Laura. I started thinking about that this morning and how much I love her. I have 3 really great brothers, 2 amazing parents, parents in California and a sister-in-law in California who I feel have always been my family. Paul's family is the kind of family every girl thinks of when she's 14 and starts planning her dream wedding and life.
I don't have much to complain about.
Oh and on a more materialistic note, I'm thankful for our new 47" flat screen TV. How was 27" ever big enough!?!