Wednesday, February 2, 2011

February...the longest month of the year...

I've had a lot of bad Februarys. I remember saying a lot over the years that it feels like the longest month, even though its the shortest. It's also my birth month, which should be good, right? Oh and there's a Hallmark commercial on right now that reminded me its also Valentine's day this month. Blah, Blah...

If the rest of the month is like February 1st was, I'll be glad when it's over.

Now that it's February 2nd, yesterday wasn't so bad, but it had its moments. February Eve wasn't so great either. I think January 31th happened to remind me of how much I dislike February.

Thinking back, I don't remember a lot from the past of bad things that happened, I just remember thinking its been a bad month a lot.

Paul and I met in February, so they haven't been all bad.

Last night as I flopped down on my pillow, I said to Paul, "Yesterday was pretty shitty, and today was worse."

So, February eve. Paul was loading some boxes in the car to take to Goodwill, and also some other stuff to the dumpster. My new favorite thing, the GPS, was in the car and Paul put it in his pocket because the car was open for a while and he wasn't always near it. He picked up a big heavy box and supported it on his leg. He heard a crunch. Long story short- my GPS died.
After one short week of a great relationship, it was over. Paul and I both know that I'd be lost without it, (literally) so we ate dinner and headed to best buy. Paul decided its time for an upgrade, the new GPS needs a blue tooth, because no matter how hard I try, I can never remember that its against the law to talk on the phone while driving in California. He decided that an extra 40 bucks for a built in blue tooth was better than paying for a ticket. But they were sold out. So we're headed to Pasadena tonight where they have one. (I hope he knows how to get there, because even though I went a couple days ago there's no way I could do it without the GPS.)

So, February 1st started with a lot of little things. A scratch in our new dresser, a major poo blow out that ended with everything in the washing machine that was within 10 feet of Garrett and I, a table that wouldn't fit where I wanted it to go, me smashing my toes twice. And an emotional moment. Nothing bad happened, it just made me have an "I'm a bad mom" moment. Garrett was playing in his little red bumbo chair in our room. I had 8 containers to move from the living room to our room. He wasn't crying, but he was squirming and a little fussy. I played this game where I'd grab a box to drop off and say, "Only 7 more boxes!" I'd run down the hall and come back, "Only 6 more boxes!" He wasn't amused, but I wanted to finish. I got to the 3rd to last, "Only 2 more boxes!" I ran down the hall, grabbed the second to last box, came back down the hall, and didn't hear him. I walked in the room, and between those two runs he'd fallen asleep, sitting up. I put the box down and started crying. I picked him up and left the last box for the next couple hours while Garrett and I cuddled, napped, and played. I don't know why it made me so emotional, but it did.

Then, (did you think I was done??) I asked Paul to do a couple things. I was making dinner because Poppy was coming over to eat with us. Paul was holding Garrett. I noticed them come into the room, but I didn't pay much attention. I heard Paul cleaning off the porch. Then, the worst sound I've heard as a mother, THUD! Paul had sat Garrett on the couch and I didn't know it. Right after the 'thud' I heard a scream. I yelled, "PAUL!!!", I ran to the couch, and my little baby was on the floor on his back screaming and crying. It was the worst feeling ever. I grabbed him, cuddled him, fed him, rocked him, and finally got him settled down. I was about as upset as he was. And I was mad at Paul. I feel bad about that, because I know I see more of the way Garrett moves, slides and roles over so quickly. I always put cushions around him when he's not on the floor, and I've told Paul to do the same...but it slipped his mind last night.

I know this was the first of many bonks, but its very traumatizing for a first time mama.

Garrett has turned into a little athlete the past couple weeks. He's constantly rolling over and trying to get up on his hands and knees. He does this funny little movement when he's on his back that looks like crunches. He pulls his knees toward his chest and lifts his head off the ground. And he does it over and over, in sets, if you will. He also arches his back and lifts his body off the ground so the only things touching the carpet are his head, the back of his shoulders and the bottom of his feet. And the last thing in his workout routine, pull-ups. This is the only one I have a picture of. He grabs the two rings hanging from his little jungle gym, one in each hand, and he pulls himself up, he repeats this several times as well. You can't really tell from the picture, but his head and shoulders are lifted off the ground. Look at that little focused face!I love this kid so much.And I love this guy, too.
I just found this picture, and a lot of others, I need to catch up! I think I can laugh about this now. This was a few days ago when I told Paul to always put a cushion against Garrett if he's on the couch. (Funny, babe.) Now I think he'll take me seriously!P.S. There are a couple things to look forward to this month. The Elberts are coming to visit, and so is my brother and sister-in-law! And then, a month from today Garrett and I are flying to Utah!

P.S.S. Sorry I said "shitty" on my blog.


megantonesforever said...

I agree, February is aweful! Those moments of "I'm a bad mom", will come more often too, sadly. I thought I was so great, because my first never had fallen off couches or any hard bonks. When Lainey arrived she fell off the couch 4 times! I was the culprit everytime. I stopped telling Tony after the 2nd time.

Crystal said...

I love that you apologized for saying the word "shitty". Just wait, being a mom there will be plenty more times you will say that word :-) And yes the first time the baby falls off the couch is traumatizing. In fact the first time any of your babies will fall off the couch will be traumatizing.

maranoelle said...

When are the Elberts heading your way??? HOW FUN!!!

RobyLynn said...

You are a great mom! I know some days can be frustrating.

Check out these videos about a mom sucking up a hamster in the vacuum & kids saying bad words. You'll feel better. :)