Resolutions for 2014

I think my only resolution in 2013 was to return my shopping carts to the cart return. And I'm happy to report that I accomplished it! Not a single cart left at the side of my car, pushed up to a curb, or clustered with a herd of carts that looked like a cart return. Even at Costco. C'mon Costco, add a couple more cart returns near the back of the lot. Twice I wanted to ditch my cart and really thought about it. Once at Costco, once at Stater Bros. Both times I was mad at cashiers. But I didn't.

On to 2014. 

-Lower my expectations. Sounds like I'm giving up on someone or something, or like I'm being negative. But I'm not. And I'm always happier in general with lower expectations. Examples: going to see a movie, having/attending a party, reading a book, planning an outing for the kids, keeping up with traditions, going on vacation, having a conversation with spouse/in-laws/parents, eating out, trying a new recipe. I tend to have unreal hopes and expectations. I want everything to go smoothly, everyone to enjoy/communicate well, the movie to be better than the book, (ahem, Catching Fire, ahem), no one to pee their pants, or need to poo RIGHT NOW!! just as we're getting on a trolley ride, the food to look like the picture and taste as good as my house smells, etc. I'm not giving up. I'll still work really hard, get excited, plan fun things/parties, cook, go out, etc. but my overall expectations will be lower, and I think that's a really good thing. 

-Read and study more. Not 30 minutes a day or even daily. I'll fail. Just more. 

-Focus a lot on two words. Patience and Intentional. Mostly regarding my kids. But also, my marriage, myself, family, extended family, friendships, strangers, etc. Giving people the benefit of the doubt, believing that people are trying their best, trusting that people are inherently good, knowing that sometimes people (kids) are really trying to learn and just don't know any better. Get on the floor more and play trains and really talk about the fun we're having and what we're learning, take advantage of teaching moments, get excited about the little things that are oh so big to my kids, apologize quicker, slow down. 

makin' 'em when everyone else is breakin' 'em.

I read somewhere that something like 90% of new years resolutions are broken or given up on by the middle  of January.  Talk about setting ourselves up for failure! So I decided I'd wait till after that time had passed so I don't become a statistic.  Last year I made my resolutions on my birthday, which is next month.  I guess it was just one resolution, and I don't even know if I'd call it that.  More just an idea.  I wanted to mail something once a month to a friend or a family member or blogger friend for no reason, so it couldn't be for a birthday.  And it could be a card, a gift, something I made, etc.  I've done it 9 times in 11 months.  I love getting something fun in the mail.  I think everyone does. So I hope I can keep this up once in a while.

This year I just have one.  To return my shopping cart either to the inside of the store or the cart return.  I used to do this without even thinking, but kids have made me lazy.  (fun fact:  Addie was almost 10 months old before I ever took both kids to a store by myself.)  Anyway, when you're loading stuff in the car and two kids into car seats, it's really easy just to push the cart to the front of the car, or up to a curb or something.  But I've started noticing, and around here most of the cart retrievers are really old, or people who look like they have some sort of disability.  And I bet they would love to just gather from the cart return.  Not to mention runaway carts that damage cars or take up parking spaces.  I've been doing this since Jan. 1st actually, and it's never taken me longer than 30 seconds to return it, and I usually take both kids with me to return it and we walk back to the car together.  Probably sounds dumb, but it's a big problem, around here anyway.

I also have a goal:

To 'Find Joy' in everyday, little things.  I look ahead too much.  To naptime, to Paul getting home, to the weekend, to a vacation, etc.  I want to be more present in the moment I'm in and enjoy life more.  Yesterday on my walk with the kids, we saw a squirrel run up a tree, and it was THEE coolest thing Garrett saw all week.  We stood and watched for a few minutes as the little guy ran from branch to branch, Garrett pointed and laughed, as as it jumped to a new branch, Garrett would jump a little and say, "Ohhh!"  Then it jumped from the tree to the building the tree was next to, and Garrett wanted to walk around the whole building to try and find it.  So we did.  We never saw the squirrel again, but it was still so exciting to look for it.

I told Paul about this last night on our date.  I said how awesome it is that I get to spend everyday with these two amazing little people who are learning so much and who are always so happy, and who get so excited about the little things the world has to offer.  I told him I want to find joy and fulfillment, even in the days where I feel like all I do is change crib sheets, pick up crumbs, wipe sticky fingers and faces, and change dirty diapers.  My kids wake up with energy and smiles every morning, and I get to see that, and be a part of so many 'firsts' for both of them.  I often miss working.  Miss adult conversation.  Miss having more money and free time.  But what I'm doing is enough.  These kids count on me, and I want to do such a good job for them.  I watch them play and laugh together, and I feel like two pieces of my heart are running around outside of my body.  Loving them hurts so good.  There are, and still will be days and weeks that seem to never end, but even during those times, it still goes by so fast.

And because I can't help but be crafty, I'm going to make a little 'Find Joy' thing to hang on the wall in our great room, as a reminder...when I'm wiping food off of it that Garrett threw at it.

I hope everyone is having a great year so far, and if you're in that 90% and feeling bad, just start again.